I am a liberal, heterodox queer Mormon. I believe in the value and worth of my fellow LGBTQ+ Saints. I am complicit in the harm done by the Church and a number of other institutions that I belong to implicitly and explicitly. My different beliefs and my rejection of what I can only see as harmful doctrines and beliefs and practices do not wash me of being complicit in those harms.
It is tempting to claim good conscience, to believe that I am not complicit in the harms and violence done by the Church, the US government, the company I work for, state and local governments, the higher education industry, etc. etc. etc. Yet, even my resistance to and rejection of those harmful beliefs does not make me innocent.
I am complicit. We are all complicit. I am complicit in the violence and harm of systemic racism, of patriarchy, of heterosexism, of every form of oppression and violence enacted by any group or institution I belong to.
When I say that I am complicit in this harm and violence, I do not mean to equate my guilt and complicity with that of those that commit the acts of violence or even those that standby silently as these acts of violence are committed. I don’t know how to weigh the guilt of these different positions against one another.
When I say violence, I mean not only physical violence, but mental and emotional and any other type of violence. We harm one another in far more than physical ways every day and the almost mundane and quotidian nature of that violence tempts me to dismiss it, to ignore it, to argue that it is inevitable and unworthy of my thoughts and concern.
And yet. The very mundane nature of that violence calls me to pay more attention to it. To recognize that every day I enact violence, I am complicit in violence.
Wherever I go and whatever I do, I will be complicit in the systemic racism that surrounds us. In the violence of the patriarchy that colors everything that I see and touch. In the suffering caused by capitalism throughout the world. There is no escaping complicity in the violence. There is only recognizing that I am complicit and working against that complicity as much as I can.
Everyone finds their own path to recognize their complicity in the violences that are all around us. I don’t know that there is one right way to move forward, but I do know that we must avoid the temptation of good conscience. We must always be propelled forward by the understanding that we cannot avoid harm and being complicit in other’s harms, but we can reduce and work against those harms.
The recognition that I am complicit in all these systems of oppression and the ways that they influence institutions and organizations and people around me, motivates me to do more to fight them. To mourn with those that mourn. To comfort those that stand in need of comfort. To speak out against what I see as wrong. To do what I can to peel back and tear down these systems of oppression.
I am complicit. I can’t have a good conscience. So I keep fighting.
Conor Hilton 
Lurker on your blog – had to comment on this one. I am fascinated by the differences in Protestant/mainstream American Christian and Mormon doctrine. One of the concepts that I find beautiful expressed in both traditions (albeit contradictory) is our need to be saved from original sin vs. we only need to be saved from our own sin. When I have studied the Protestant beliefs in original sin and spoken with theologians from mainstream American Christianity, the definition I have come to understand of original sin is exactly what you have expressed here. Because our world fell, and we interact with a fallen world. We participate in fallen communities that enter into economic and social relationships with other communities. We shop for goods when we do not understand the sins that may have been committed in producing, obtaining and bartering those goods. By the very act of living in a home, buying a piece of fruit, going to church – every basic day-to-day action involves us in macro-level sin, religiously described as the result of living “in a fallen world,” I.e. as a result of Adam and Eve’s “original sin”.
In recognizing our need for salvation from original sin, I feel it is a humble acknowledgement of our participation in a larger world than our individual self and the harm we cause by that (necessary) participation.
“I am complicit. I can’t have a good conscience. And so I keep fighting.” I love this.
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